When he's a dry texter: what it actually means

You send a paragraph, you get back 'lol'. You ask a question, he answers in one word and asks nothing back. Texting him feels like carrying a piano up the stairs alone. Before you decide what it means, let's separate the two very different kinds of dry.

Some people are just bad at texting

It's real. Plenty of warm, interested people are lifeless over text and come alive in person. If he's dry on the phone but present, engaged, and generous when you're actually together, texting might just not be his medium. That's worth knowing before you write him off over a screen.

But dryness can also be a message

The other kind of dry is a quiet lack of interest, and the tell is effort in every other form. A bad texter who likes you still makes plans, still shows up, still finds ways to see you. A man using dryness to keep you at arm's length gives you nothing on text and nothing off it either. Flat everywhere is very different from flat on one channel.

How to tell which you've got

Stop over-feeding the thread and look at the whole picture. Does he initiate anything? Does he turn texting into actually seeing you? Is the warmth real when you're face to face? One dead channel with a live connection underneath is fine. Dead channel, dead effort, and dead plans is your answer.

Your move

You don't have to keep writing essays to someone who sends back 'k'. Match the energy, and put your effort where it's returned. Jot down whether the dryness is just texts or the whole thing, because once it's written out you stop mistaking a communication style for a verdict, or a verdict for a communication style.